As part of my journey to eradicate waste from my life, I’m minimizing not only the physical waste I generate, but also the amount of time I fritter away.
Confession: I spent more hours in the last decade binge-watching crappy TV shows than I did emailing dear friends, walking in nature, serving others through volunteer work, and untold other valuable activities.
Was it fun? Well…yeah.
Was it worth it? Not remotely.
Life is short
Just over a year ago, my beloved grandmother passed away at the age of 80. To some, 80 might seem quite old, like a long enough life. But when we learned her death was imminent, I made the 2-day drive to see her one more time. And guess what? I spent most of that drive thinking how gypped I felt that she was dying at only 80 years old.
If I die when I’m 80, I will only have 49 more years in this world. That means…
- 49 complete sets of seasons changing
- 49 times waking up on the first day of Spring with the windows open and birds chirping
- 49 first-smell-of-mowed-grass for the year
- 49 epic summer vacations
- 49 trips to a pumpkin patch to choose the perfect jack-o-lantern
- 49 first pumpkin spiced hot cocoas of September
- 49 more Halloweens
- 49 more times to decorate the Christmas tree
- 49 first snowfalls of winter
- 49 last days I have to shovel the snow until next winter
- And so on and so forth
When I look at my life with that perspective, it doesn’t seem long enough. It’s just not enough time.
I wasted away my twenties on crappy TV. What at first seemed like a little harmless Netflix and chill turned into Netflix and surprise, you’re 30! And even though there’s no way I can recover that most valuable resource—my time—at least I can make better use of what I have left going forward.
So I reflected on ways I waste my time currently, and I’m minimizing each of these as quickly and comprehensively as possible.
Five Hidden Ways You’re Wasting Your Time
- Watching TV. I’m starting with this one because it’s the one I’ve conquered most so far. We already don’t have cable or even peasant-vision television channels. (We do subscribe to Netflix, and we were planning to cancel it until my French teacher recommended I use it with closed captioning to watch movies in French while reading the French subtitles. We have an upcoming trip to Montreal that I’m preparing for, so we’ll wait to cancel Netflix until I decide to take a break from French studies.) We do have a family movie night tradition where we stay in on Friday nights, eat pizza and watch a movie (either streamed on Netflix or rented on iTunes because we no longer own physical DVDs). But other than that our consumption of Netflix is very limited.
- Mindless social media. I go through phases of success with this one. My first real job out of university was working as a marketing and social media manager for a car dealership, so I was always on my phone for some tweet or other. When I quit that job to be a full-time mom, I found my old social media habits were difficult to squelch, often at the expense of my relationship with my children and spouse. Every now and then I deleted the apps off my phone and swore off social media altogether, but it never stuck. I’m still working on finding a good balance with this one, but for now the most helpful (and simple) thing I’ve done is purge the list of people I follow. Now when I scroll through Facebook and Instagram, I’m only seeing posts of people who I’ve specifically chosen, and who add value to my life. It’s a start.
- Being angry. Before I had children I used to be a pretty level-headed person. Now, as a mom of a toddler and a preschooler, I feel like I’m always just one whine away from losing my cool. (I’ve actually been thinking of getting into therapy.) I’m really trying to get better at this, and hopefully once my sleeping situation improves I’ll be back to the same patient person I used to be. Because nothing makes me feel sadder than tucking my kiddos into bed at night and thinking, “I was so angry with you today.” Nothing those sweet little faces do should be “bad” enough to make me yell, yet, sadly, I find myself yelling more than I’m proud to admit. Again, I’m seeing that my time with them is short, and I don’t want to keep wasting it on parental fury. I want them to remember me as sweet and kind, and slow to ire. This is a work in progress.
- Holding a grudge. I am an expert grudge-holder. I could fill volumes with all the wrongs people committed against me in my life. For a long time I viewed this trait as a character strength, something I was proud of: Nobody takes advantage of me! Fool me once, shame on you; but you’ll never, ever fool me twice. My good opinion once lost is lost forever. Now, however, I’m beginning to realize that holding grudges actually takes a lot of valuable time—time which I’m no longer willing to waste. It’s true, I don’t like to be taken advantage of. But now, instead of dwelling and fuming over negative experiences for months or even years, I just…move on. I can forgive people without still allowing them to hurt me. And forgiving leaves a lot more room for positive relationships going forward.
- Caring what people think. This one is my favourite, because it’s all-encompassing. I look back on the last decade of my life and I’m struck by how many times I held back because I didn’t want to seem weird or look like a fool. But now that ship has sailed! I am not wasting time by second-guessing my instincts any longer. I no longer make decisions based on what others might say or think about me. Instead, I spend my time and life energy on the projects that will add value, both for myself and my family, as well as the world at large. If I look a little weird in the process, it’ll just mean I’m doing something right.
Like I said, I’m just beginning my journey to Zero (Time) Waste. This list is by no means comprehensive, but it’s a start. And I’d rather start imperfectly than continue to stagnate perfectly.
Nobody has time for stagnation, perfect or otherwise.